WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME
REALISTIC GUIDE TO EARLY MOTHERHOOD
wish someone had told me and I wish this book had been around when I had
serves as an essential antidote to dispel the Superwoman myth, which so
many women intellectually reject but emotionally still judge themselves
Barrett approaches the topic of motherhood with humour (a survival need
essential for all mothers) and above all a really pragmatic philosophy.
She deals with the reality of being a mother and why it does not always
meet our expectations.
highlights the "intimidation" we all feel by consulting the
numerous child "experts" from the medical fields and the child
care authors who all tell us what to do or not to do that helps increase
our self doubts and erodes our self confidence little by little.
highlights most importantly, perhaps, that what she discovered
was that she was not, as she had imagined
she would be, always in control.
short, how many of us can testify to this fact that after giving birth to
a baby, we were in fact having to give birth to a new self, and that the
process, like labour, was longer, more complicated, and much more painful
than any of the books indicated or the so-called experts told. The secret
discovered while researching the book, which was as a result of
interviewing 63 new mothers in their first year of motherhood, is that
"no one knows the secret: we are each putting our
motherhood together from scratch"!
book has twelve entertaining chapters each highlighted and headed with Ideal
Labour should be painless, natural and emotionally fulfilling.
Labour can be unbearably painful, medically assisted, and emotionally
There is such a thing as a GOOD MOTHER and if you try hard enough and make
all the right choices you can become one.
It is possible to be a good mother if by "good" you don't really
mean "perfect" which many women do. The chapter takes a closer
look at where our images of ideal mothers come from: Mythical Mothers,
Memory Mothers and Media Mothers.
author highlights the extreme isolation that new mothers can experience
and how networking and groups can help mothers to stay in touch and
provide support for each other. She also provides
Four Marital Survival Skills" so very necessary for
new Mums and Dads!
is not a book about 'shoulds' but a down to earth look at how
women really handle the extremely onerous task of mothering. A book by
mothers for mothers that will instil confidence.
I hope I have given you a taste of what this book is about. I enjoyed it
and strongly recommend for all new mothers.
in 1997 by Academy Chicago Publishers.
Woman’s Journey Through Postpartum Depression
SUSAN KUSHNER RESNICK
Susan Kushner Resnick developed postpartum depression, she searched for a
book that would relate a personal account by a survivor – to give her
She could not find one.
that she, herself, has come through it, and has survived, she has written
an account of her own experience, in the hope of helping others.
gives the reader a vivid, absorbing, and unsentimental picture of her
journey from the birth of her second child, through what she was told
would be a temporary experience, but felt interminable, to an outcome that
she felt was life changing.
incorporates an overview of current thinking about PND, with an account of
her thoughts, anxieties and fluctuating moods, as her depression unfolds
and then encapsulates her.
She describes the bubble around her that made her feel cut off from
her family and friends, but particularly her children.
cannot tolerate being with her baby, but anyone else caring for him makes
her feel inadequate.
The result is isolation, and feelings of shame about not coping and
feeling like a “bad” mother.
Her relentless insomnia becomes a constant fear from which there is
no refuge, as she struggles to maintain order and control.
She details her attempts to withstand the hours of every day, as
they weighed down before her.
struggling with denial that she was suffering from PND, and attempting
several self-soothing remedies, she finally admits to herself and those
around her that she needs help.
She then begins her period of recovery, with psychotherapy, and
eventually medication, and just a few group sessions.
forms an important new friendship with someone who had suffered in a
different way, and learns that there are times that she can ask for help,
and her friends will respond if they can.
She reflects on the effect of her illness on her husband and
children, and her relationship with them in the short- and long-term.
is not a depressing account of one woman’s experience of PND.
While Susan Kushner Resnick is candid about the extent of her
feelings of hatred, and, at times, thoughts of suicide, her message is one
of courage and hope and solidarity.
would recommend this book not only to women suffering from PND, as a
suggestion of light at the end of the tunnel, but also to their partners,
who may come to understand some of the things that cannot yet be said, and
who may gain some support for their own struggle.
“an arm around your shoulder” for women, by sharing her own
I also think it would be of interest to therapists and health
professionals who are working with women with PND, for it highlights the
development of her symptoms, and shows what the world of a woman with PND
is really like.
Kushner Resdick (Published by St. Martin’s Press, New York)
by CHERYL BAKER
Sears, M.D. & Martha Sears, R.N.
THE DISCIPLINE BOOK
Sears, M.D. & Martha Sears, R.N.
THE BABY BOOK
Field: TOUCH THERAPY
Allison Granju with Betsy Kennedy, R.N., M.S.N.
Barker: BABY LOVE
IS FAST BUILDING UP THE BEST (THE ONLY?) LIBRARY IN SOUTH AFRICA THAT FOCUSES
SPECIFICALLY ON MOOD DISORDERS AND CHILDBIRTH, AND RELATED ISSUES.
THE OFFICE FOR DETAILS ABOUT USE OF THE LIBRARY, WHICH IS OPEN TO MEMBERS
OF PNDSA ONLY